Last night and the earliest parts of this morning I had no LDs or separations. I have continued trying the SSILD technique and am still on the fence about its effectiveness.
It was after 8 am today that I decided to lay on my stomach to try to go back to sleep, and it was while in this state that I came to awareness that there was a prominent ringing sound, vibrations in my back, and that hazy floating feeling that generally accompanies the closest approximation I usually have to a separation.
I rolled out and onto the floor, but something happened to where my orientation switched suddenly and instead of facing up toward the ceiling, I was facing down, or vice versa. It made me concerned that I would get booted from the phase, so I began palpating everything in sight like mad.
I'm not sure how I got on the other side of the house, but I worked my way out of the kitchen into the livingroom and started palpating different knicknacks that don't exist in real life on shelves that didn't exist either.
Eventually I made my way down the hall and Sue opened the door as expected. She was not naked as expected, and worse yet, the bed was empty and there was nobody in the room BUT Sue. My latest plan had been that Cora would have her wrists strung up tied to the ceiling and be blindfolded and gagged. I additionally modified that Melissa would have her wrists strung and tied to the top of the bed and be blindfolded and gagged.
The main purpose for setting this expectation was so I could have control over the DC women not wandering off or delaying me in my POA, and also so they did not distract me with dream dialog or get me engaged in sex before I had sufficiently deepened. What a letdown that neither were present!
Of course I turned my attention to Sue, but I think I was starting to lose lucidity despite taking definite actions to deepen. I don't remember how or if her clothes came off, but I assume they did. I do remember at one point that she knelt in front of me and sucked my cock, but there was a frustrating lack of sensation.
I tried to take control of things by picking her up and bending her over the side of the bed. I was looking at her ass, but I also recall there being the sight of thick brown hair in proximity to her netherparts- not curly pubes like you might expect, but tousled straight hair that you would find on someone's head in a short-cut hairstyle.
As I proceeded to drill her pussy, she started asking me if I was going fuck her in the ass. I got drawn into the damn conversation and told her that I had not planned on doing that, that I was just trying to pump her pussy, but if she wanted me to probe that hole, I had nothing against it.
Being buried inside Sue was kind of strange feeling. If I had to try to describe it, it would be kind of like pounding the hole of a balloon filled with meat- it had the sensation of being inside something stretchy and rubbery, but there wasn't nearly enough wetness and an aggravating lack of skin-quality contact.
I don't recall how I lost the phase but I am pretty sure I woke up. I forgot to grasp Sue or some other object from the phase in order to keep myself anchored there. I did not experience any further phase entry experiences before I finally got up for the day at about 11:30 am.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Just a Phase I'm Going Through?
Last night was my first attempt at a new technique for entering the phase. I would have to say that the results up to this point are positive- because there were definite opportunities for entering the phase, I was just too wrapped up in the dream or intent on sex to recognize that phase entry was supposed to be my primary goal.
I woke up later than I had hoped this morning- about 4 am. After cycling through SSID techniques last night, I realized how relaxing they were and how much it might be beneficial to try getting to sleep using them again. Unfortunately there were some distractions. My kids were up getting ready for school, and my wife kept jolting around and touching me. I was really wondering whether I would ever get to sleep before my alarm went off at 5 am.
I next became aware that I was positioned stomach-down straddling something. I had the sense that I was incredibly horny because the next thing I knew I was rubbing myself up and down what felt like it could be the corner of the mattress. As I proceeded with this, I think my mind started filling in blanks and was aware that I was in bed, and the most logical person accessible for sex was my wife. What seemed to be the corner of the bed before gradually started to transform into my wife.
The prospect of poking a pussy and getting my rocks off was clearly what was driving me, as I began to notice the transformation and how with each new stroke it felt more like I was penetrating the warm depths of a woman. Eventually, my wife woke up in the dream and was consenting to continuing the encounter. I think I went to the bathroom first, and when I came back she was ready on the bed.
We were fucking in a pretty strange position that I can't really describe. All I know is that her ass was straight up in the air in front of me and I was probing her cunt while standing up over her. It was near this point that I noticed my wife turned into my ex-wife, and that while I was pumping her pussy, there was a mirror that was propped in front of me on the bed where I could see myself piston in and out of her slot.
In addition to this, the spectacle was so graphic that I could see inside her twat in detail. Were those her tonsils I saw? She grinned mischievously and attempted to reminisce about how she had put the mirror there because she thought it might be fun for me to be reminded of some movie or experience we had enjoyed together at some point in the past (in reality, this never happened).
It was not long after this that my mind went back to the short amount of time that I knew I had, yet it never really recognized that I was already on the doorstep of a phase. I also became preoccupied with the idea that the sexual encounter was about to end. Somehow it did, though I don't remember whether I thought I woke up somehow, the scene in front of me just changed, or something else happened—but I was no longer doing the nasty in my bedroom.
As I wandered about my dream, there was one point where I was laying down in a bean bag chair or something, either trying to fall asleep, or faking falling asleep. Somehow Cora was sitting positioned above me talking to someone as she waved her foot back and forth. The wagging foot eventually rested between my balls and asshole and continued its gyrations. I knew that in the current state of things in real life, Cora would never do this, so I definitely started faking being asleep as I reveled in the sensation of her foot arousing my underparts. She continued doing this without any sense of anything inappropriate or undesirable.
The next thing I remember, I was trying to go home. I turned down a road that in the dream I sensed would lead there, but the road was covered with thick, wet, unformed concrete (in reality, I have no idea what this road was). There were some men working on this street that are people I know in real life. One of them showed me to the road where I needed to turn around, go back down the main street, then turn left at the sign that said "Ohio 11".
As I was heading back to the main street, I had the inner-knowledge that I could wow the masses by doing bionic jumps. I proceeded to jump from the front of a business to the branch of a tree. This did not quite work as I had planned at first, but on the next attempt it worked flawlessly. I grinned as I sensed someone on the ground looking up at me incredulously. From the tree, I next made a super-bound from the branch to reach my car across the street. I launched myself very high into the air. In one moment I realized I was going to completely overshoot my car and land on the next building, and in the next moment I became concerned that it HAD to be 5 am by now, and I knew my wife needed to get to work early today.
I woke up at exactly 5 am, about 30 seconds before the alarm went off. I am beside myself wondering how I could be so clueless about entering the phase and pursuing my own intended plan of action when there were so many triggers and cues present. Let's recap them...
I woke up later than I had hoped this morning- about 4 am. After cycling through SSID techniques last night, I realized how relaxing they were and how much it might be beneficial to try getting to sleep using them again. Unfortunately there were some distractions. My kids were up getting ready for school, and my wife kept jolting around and touching me. I was really wondering whether I would ever get to sleep before my alarm went off at 5 am.
I next became aware that I was positioned stomach-down straddling something. I had the sense that I was incredibly horny because the next thing I knew I was rubbing myself up and down what felt like it could be the corner of the mattress. As I proceeded with this, I think my mind started filling in blanks and was aware that I was in bed, and the most logical person accessible for sex was my wife. What seemed to be the corner of the bed before gradually started to transform into my wife.
The prospect of poking a pussy and getting my rocks off was clearly what was driving me, as I began to notice the transformation and how with each new stroke it felt more like I was penetrating the warm depths of a woman. Eventually, my wife woke up in the dream and was consenting to continuing the encounter. I think I went to the bathroom first, and when I came back she was ready on the bed.
We were fucking in a pretty strange position that I can't really describe. All I know is that her ass was straight up in the air in front of me and I was probing her cunt while standing up over her. It was near this point that I noticed my wife turned into my ex-wife, and that while I was pumping her pussy, there was a mirror that was propped in front of me on the bed where I could see myself piston in and out of her slot.
In addition to this, the spectacle was so graphic that I could see inside her twat in detail. Were those her tonsils I saw? She grinned mischievously and attempted to reminisce about how she had put the mirror there because she thought it might be fun for me to be reminded of some movie or experience we had enjoyed together at some point in the past (in reality, this never happened).
It was not long after this that my mind went back to the short amount of time that I knew I had, yet it never really recognized that I was already on the doorstep of a phase. I also became preoccupied with the idea that the sexual encounter was about to end. Somehow it did, though I don't remember whether I thought I woke up somehow, the scene in front of me just changed, or something else happened—but I was no longer doing the nasty in my bedroom.
As I wandered about my dream, there was one point where I was laying down in a bean bag chair or something, either trying to fall asleep, or faking falling asleep. Somehow Cora was sitting positioned above me talking to someone as she waved her foot back and forth. The wagging foot eventually rested between my balls and asshole and continued its gyrations. I knew that in the current state of things in real life, Cora would never do this, so I definitely started faking being asleep as I reveled in the sensation of her foot arousing my underparts. She continued doing this without any sense of anything inappropriate or undesirable.
The next thing I remember, I was trying to go home. I turned down a road that in the dream I sensed would lead there, but the road was covered with thick, wet, unformed concrete (in reality, I have no idea what this road was). There were some men working on this street that are people I know in real life. One of them showed me to the road where I needed to turn around, go back down the main street, then turn left at the sign that said "Ohio 11".
As I was heading back to the main street, I had the inner-knowledge that I could wow the masses by doing bionic jumps. I proceeded to jump from the front of a business to the branch of a tree. This did not quite work as I had planned at first, but on the next attempt it worked flawlessly. I grinned as I sensed someone on the ground looking up at me incredulously. From the tree, I next made a super-bound from the branch to reach my car across the street. I launched myself very high into the air. In one moment I realized I was going to completely overshoot my car and land on the next building, and in the next moment I became concerned that it HAD to be 5 am by now, and I knew my wife needed to get to work early today.
I woke up at exactly 5 am, about 30 seconds before the alarm went off. I am beside myself wondering how I could be so clueless about entering the phase and pursuing my own intended plan of action when there were so many triggers and cues present. Let's recap them...
- Sudden awareness of an object touching or interacting with me, which has clearly indicated phase entry in the past.
- I had awareness that I had less than an hour to enter the phase, but never consciously recognized I was already in it.
- There is no way that in real life Cora would overlook that her foot was touching any part of my body, let alone fully brushing my no-no zone.
- Since when can I bionic jump??? It seems to me that this is close enough to flying that it should have been a lucidity trigger and got me focused on my real objectives
I really hope that my awareness of these missed indicators now will strengthen my awareness if similar events occur in the future so that I can take full advantage of them.
Just like the drunken dreams of this morning, I am hoping that this frustrating tendency to let opportunity slip between my fingers is just a phase I'm going through.
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